Warm Hearts Happy Family

I know that every woman has greatness in their soul. You have talents only you can offer to the world hidden under stress and responsibility.

You owe it to yourself to find it. You owe it to the world to share you individuality. And you owe it to your children to live your life in color.

I spent the first 29 years of my life trying to figure out my future. I knew a few things for sure, I wanted to be a wife and a mother. But then what? I certainly didn’t know.

You WILL achieve in your life what you believe will happen, what you WILL to happen.

So much of my life I stressed about what my career would be. I just could not figure out my place in this world. I am a talented writer, that I knew. But what could I do with that? So I dismissed it. For years, over and over. Until a light went on.

I am a writer.

I am a baby writer, at the very begining of my career. But I have started, and that is success in itself.

Find yourself, find your truth. Find what makes you happy. You will know your path when you find it–without quesiton.

–Hope and Love,

Rachael.

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I have lost 40 pounds…my main success factor? I stopped giving food the power.

It started with the 30 Day Shred. If anybody can do what was promised in 30 days I believed Jillian Michael’s could. After I saw such great results I didn’t stop. I joined Weight Watchers with my cousin and great friend and haven’t looked back.

Here is another before and after picture example.

Here is my husband and I Easter of 09

And here we are Easter of this year

Weight loss IS possible, once you believe you are worth it. Once you believe you are worthy of being thin. And we are all worthy of living an energetic and fulfilling life.

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I have been searching for a truth in my heart regarding God and church and the like. I am not any closer now than I was a year ago but I do know one truth.

We are not just an accident.

The supreme beauty I see in the innocence of my children, the overwhelming love that I feel from my chest all the way to the top of my throat when I look at them can not be accidental. The intricacies of conception and birth, the seasons, and circle of life. The ache of loss, and the joy of love. Accidents? No way.

I am a mix of skeptic and believer. I can’t help but wonder how so many people are convinced they have “it” right, but also believe with my whole being there is something greater–I feel God’s presence in my life. And I am thankful for the love in my heart.

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I can not write one more article on migraines, how to potty train a puppy, or hotels that accept pets in BFE.

I need a break.

And a back-rub.

And a place that I can write fragment sentences and use a passive voice if I want to. You are so worth $4.99 per month my bloggy blog.

Anywho…

I took a mini trip with my closest girlfriends last weekend. We went outlet shopping and stayed overnight. The hotel was mediocre if I am being generous and the pool water looked a little…off; in a green-ish sort of way. And yet it was one of the best days I have had in a long while.

Anybody that knows me understands that a shopper I am not. And yet I had a great time–worry free to boot. This trip made me realize something–I rarely enjoy things. Normally my anxiety would be churning. 

I mean seriously, what if I get sick in the store? What if the store gets robbed and I get shot? What if I am trying on clothes and my friends leave me and I am left behind? What if, I don’t know, I have a seizure in the middle of Old Navy for cripes sake! What if I get a call that something happened to my kids and I am 100 miles away? What if there is a bomb planted in the store?

See how this may not have been fun for me?

Well this time was different since being on anxiety medication. I was relaxed, I enjoyed being with my friends, and I was happy. I had a few litte anxiety flare-ups which I kept to myself, but overall the trip was pleasant.

I love my happy pill.

Never again do I want to look forward to something, go, and then simply wait impatiently for it to be over.

Medication is not for everybody, and is certainly not a quick fix. I am not advocating medication without responsibility and research. But for me, with both responsibility and research, it may just give me the life I didn’t know I was missing.

Booyah.

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Just keep swimming...

Cough, Cough, HACK.

That was me choking on the ploom of dust that bellowed upward as I cracked my beloved blog.

I have missed my baby, but mama is out making the money honey. One of my 2010 goals is to begin earning a livable income through writing. So that is where my “free time” has been spent. Working with clients that pay well for quality work.

Last year I made a grand total of…drum roll…$275. I know, I know. Baller. Since January I am happy to report that I have earned $615, not bad for 2 months (and on an extremly part time basis, as my real day job takes priority).

Just more arsenal in the hope bank. Hope for my future and hope for my dreams.  And hope for our financial security.

The affirmations keep coming that I am on the right path, that writing is my truth. And that I might actually have what it takes to “make it” doing something that I love.

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