Warm Hearts Happy Family

I am turning 30 this year and truth be told I excited for the new chapter. I am learning what really defines me. And am taking hold of what I want out of life. I was watching Bishop TD Jakes one day and he said something that turned a light bulb on…he said your life is not going to happen by accident. You need a plan. If you don’t change your behavior and create a plan, your outcome is going to be the same. Duh! But he said it in such a way that made sense to me. I had heard this all my life in school…goal setting, life planning etc. But this man, this day, finally made me believe in myself and believe that I can have whatever life I want.

So…what life do I want? I am pretty much living it, but with a huge factor missing. Are my husband and I fulfilling what we are meant to do with our lives? We are an amazing team. We are amazing parents but I know we can be better people. We both have careers that we don’t love, we work to pay the bills. And that is OK, but I don’t want to be just OK anymore. I want financial security but that is never going to happen unless we believe we are worthy of that. I want to make a difference in the world but I for the life of me don’t know how. I STILL don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. How sad is that? I could never come up with an answer in school when asked either. I know a couple of things. I love children, especially children in need. I have a deep desire to heal little souls. I would love to work helping children battle autism, along side with giving their parents hope. But how do I start my life over with a mortgage, 2 kids, and piles of bills? Oh, and almost zero spare time?

More than myself, I would love to see my husband realize how amazing he is. That he is so smart and can do ANYTHING he wanted. Anything. He is such a smart man and he cuts himself so short. He is so talented in so many ways. I pray that he has his aha moment. I would bend over backwards to see him succeed, would give up almost anything to see his self esteem rise and see him fulfill his desires. If only he could figure out what he wants to do, and believe he can do it. Tim, if you read this you can do it.

Self Fulfilling Prophecy. I am really soaking in what this means and trying to live by it. You get out of life what you imagine, what you dream, and how you see yourself. It is applicable to so much in my life. I always saw myself married to an amazing man, check. Always saw myself as a mother, check. Always saw myself in a beautiful home filled with love and peace, check. I have accomplished so much in my life with this philosophy and didn’t even realize it. When I made the Pom squad in high school. When I wanted my current position at work (that I am still in 7 years later! ugh!). When planning my dream wedding. So many things happened just as I saw they would, knew they would. Now I am trying to use this to take my life to the next level.

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