Warm Hearts Happy Family

Beautiful painting done by my extraordinarilly talented cousin Jackie Isaacson.  Her work has depth, emotion and the ability to tell an honest story; but also holds a secret that leaves you wanting more.

Remember her name because she is on her way to greatness.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

One of the most inspirational books I have read is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch (co-authored with Jeffery Zaslow).  Randy lived his life with passion and courage and most importantly with dreams.  He realized almost all of his childhood dreams against all the odds most people face. 

One of the things that resonated loudly with me was one of his mantras:  “The brick walls are there for a reason.  They’re not there to keep us out.  The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something”.  These words embedded themselves into my core and refused to be ignored.

I want my children to grow up surrounded by optimism, surrounded by success and passion.  I lost my dreams somewhere between swinging on the playground and figuring out how to make all of the bill payments on time.  But I am claiming them back–my life is mine to determine and I owe it to my childhood-self to do the things she knew I would be best at.  The things that would make me happy.

Kids are funny that way.  They know their talents right away–they know what they want to be right away.  But too often kids face stresses and obstacles that erode the once glossy dream into a distant memory.  I will do everything in my power not to let this happen to my children.  I am hear to nurture and foster every dream they have–who am I to say if their dreams are realistic or weather or not they can achieve them.  They will face that enough in their lives and my hope is my voice will be loud enough, influencing enough, to resonate in their heads when they themselves are feeling self-doubt. 

Kids are sponges and in a lot of cases emulate the life they have at home.  So my gift to them–to prove they can make whatever life they want–is to believe in myself.  To chase after my dreams and to accomplish my definition of success.

***Important note*** I think it is prudent to mention one of the things I have been blessed with is common sense. So you will never see me screaming into a camera at the judges of American Idol if my child is clearly and devastatingly devoid of any artistic talent.  Nurturing does not equal lying to your children but that is just me. 

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Families need heroes–people who do little things for the ones they love everyday just for the sake of their happiness and for their well being. 

My husband is one such hero and a remarkable father and husband.  A true man both physically (yum yum) and emotionally with a love that radiates from his very core.

Not only does he show his family he loves us by his words and hugs and kisses, but his actions tell us the same story.  I had a very busy day planned yesterday and had to have both kids up and out of the house fairly early so when I got an unexpected visitor–the once a month kind of visitor–and no means of dealing with it (pads people, talking about pads) I was frustrated to say the least. 

I told hubby of the situation on the phone and wasn’t even entirely sure he was paying attention to me.  30 minutes later he walks through the front door with a bag of feminine goodies and smile.  He left work to go to the store just to make my life easier.  Just to make my day a little bit better. 

OK, so that was a bit on the sappy side for a story about tampons, but I am telling you it is the little things that make me thankful.  And make me absolutely grateful I married the man that I did.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

I feel much better going to work knowing my kids feel all warm and fuzzy and secure in their world.  Here are some things I do to maximize time with them and ensure they feel loved and important.

1. Co-sleep.  I will admit that before I had kids I thought families that co-slept were the crazies.  I think I even said “oh hell to the no, night time is my time” or something very similar.  Little did I know that co-sleeping would become one of my favorite parts of motherhood; and I believe the benefits from doing so will last my kids the rest of their lives.  When my babies can wake up in the middle of the night and know they can snuggle into mom (or dad!) that means something.  And when my kids wake up in the morning and get to share stolen moments of cuddling and giggling and undivided attention that means something.  Maybe it means everything–who knows what kind of impact our mornings will have on their feelings of worth and value and security.  I know sharing your nighttime space seems like a sacrifice but really the opposite is true; everyone involved gains so much. 
2. Planning their day.  So this could fall into the co sleeping category but every night when I tuck my son in we snuggle and talk about what he is going to do the next day–whether I am working or not.  This way he gets the message that I am involved in and care about his day activities, even when I am not home.  Lets face it, he is three so his days mostly consist of playing with cars, playing with trucks, playing with trains–you know–the typical boy automotive fascination.  Daughter is too young to understand anything besides bed = boob time, but I tell her about her day to come anyway. 
3. Calling home.  I make a point to call and talk to my son while at work know matter how busy I am.  This sends the message to him that he is in my thoughts always.
4. Quality time.  I remind myself that tasks that feel more like chores after a long day at work can be quality time; and  time that nobody else can replicate.  For example dinner time.  Let the little ones help you make dinner or set the table, or just encourage them to spend time with you in the kitchen while you cook.  Have family dinners at the table and implement something like the high low game (where each member of the family says the best and worst part of their days).  Make bath time a time to be silly and to connect.  And I think you get my feelings on bedtime–the best time to get one on one contact and interaction is right before they go to sleep.  I love seeing my kids fall asleep with a smile on their face ( and they really do!).
5. Make time for YOU.  This may be the most important thing you can do.  If mom is overworked, overtired, and overstressed (which I have been more times than I would like to admit) than making our kids feel as loved and as important as they are is next to impossible.  When the love we have in our hearts is buried under stress and sleep deprivation the whole family suffers.  Do something every day that is just for you.  My favorite selfish example is to nap.  I just need sleep and husband has finally learned everyone in our house will be so much happier if mom just gets one good nap in per week.  Other days I take a long bath or have a glass of wine and surf the web.  Or have a glass of wine and read a book.  Or have a glass of wine and watch some mindless addictive television.  OK so wine seems to be the theme but I don’t need AA, I swear.  Girl scouts honor.  But every persons unwind button is different.  Maybe you run, or maybe you cook (in which case go ahead and scratch the above kids in the kitchen for quality time nonsense).  Whatever the case may be, be like Nike and just do it.  You are super woman and you deserve time to recharge.

This is a pretty typical day in my house.  While these things may not work for everybody, they changed the way I viewed motherhood; and changed a woman who used to stressed and unhappy into the mom I always wanted to be.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

Please don’t mind me as I am sure your world will continue to orbit around the sun without reading my “what direction should I take my life in now” post. 

Again.

But bear with me my www friends as I can feel my success whispering sweet promises in my ear, can feel accomplishment waiting in my shadows.  For the first time in my life I believe in myself, if only I could get focused.   Lists are the best way to laser in on the specifics, so a list I will make.

I know one thing for sure.  I want to be a writer.  I am not sure what defines a writer, or how much success is needed before giving ones self such a title; but I will worry about that later.  My first question is in what way do I want to become a writer?  Here are a list of things I want to do:

• Have my own column or blog in a national publication.  Shit, start smaller.  Local publication…baby steps.
• Freelance for publication in popular magazines (Parenting, Women’s Health, etc)
• Write a funny and encouraging  “how to” book on breastfeeding from a typical Americans point of view
• Start a children’s book series that I have tried to start for years
• Look for more blogging opportunities

I want to do all of the above but the key is what do I want to put my energy into first.  I will spend the next day or so staring blankly at this list until my next project jumps off the screen, slaps me in the face, and makes me it’s bitch.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!