Warm Hearts Happy Family

I feel much better going to work knowing my kids feel all warm and fuzzy and secure in their world.  Here are some things I do to maximize time with them and ensure they feel loved and important.

1. Co-sleep.  I will admit that before I had kids I thought families that co-slept were the crazies.  I think I even said “oh hell to the no, night time is my time” or something very similar.  Little did I know that co-sleeping would become one of my favorite parts of motherhood; and I believe the benefits from doing so will last my kids the rest of their lives.  When my babies can wake up in the middle of the night and know they can snuggle into mom (or dad!) that means something.  And when my kids wake up in the morning and get to share stolen moments of cuddling and giggling and undivided attention that means something.  Maybe it means everything–who knows what kind of impact our mornings will have on their feelings of worth and value and security.  I know sharing your nighttime space seems like a sacrifice but really the opposite is true; everyone involved gains so much. 
2. Planning their day.  So this could fall into the co sleeping category but every night when I tuck my son in we snuggle and talk about what he is going to do the next day–whether I am working or not.  This way he gets the message that I am involved in and care about his day activities, even when I am not home.  Lets face it, he is three so his days mostly consist of playing with cars, playing with trucks, playing with trains–you know–the typical boy automotive fascination.  Daughter is too young to understand anything besides bed = boob time, but I tell her about her day to come anyway. 
3. Calling home.  I make a point to call and talk to my son while at work know matter how busy I am.  This sends the message to him that he is in my thoughts always.
4. Quality time.  I remind myself that tasks that feel more like chores after a long day at work can be quality time; and  time that nobody else can replicate.  For example dinner time.  Let the little ones help you make dinner or set the table, or just encourage them to spend time with you in the kitchen while you cook.  Have family dinners at the table and implement something like the high low game (where each member of the family says the best and worst part of their days).  Make bath time a time to be silly and to connect.  And I think you get my feelings on bedtime–the best time to get one on one contact and interaction is right before they go to sleep.  I love seeing my kids fall asleep with a smile on their face ( and they really do!).
5. Make time for YOU.  This may be the most important thing you can do.  If mom is overworked, overtired, and overstressed (which I have been more times than I would like to admit) than making our kids feel as loved and as important as they are is next to impossible.  When the love we have in our hearts is buried under stress and sleep deprivation the whole family suffers.  Do something every day that is just for you.  My favorite selfish example is to nap.  I just need sleep and husband has finally learned everyone in our house will be so much happier if mom just gets one good nap in per week.  Other days I take a long bath or have a glass of wine and surf the web.  Or have a glass of wine and read a book.  Or have a glass of wine and watch some mindless addictive television.  OK so wine seems to be the theme but I don’t need AA, I swear.  Girl scouts honor.  But every persons unwind button is different.  Maybe you run, or maybe you cook (in which case go ahead and scratch the above kids in the kitchen for quality time nonsense).  Whatever the case may be, be like Nike and just do it.  You are super woman and you deserve time to recharge.

This is a pretty typical day in my house.  While these things may not work for everybody, they changed the way I viewed motherhood; and changed a woman who used to stressed and unhappy into the mom I always wanted to be.

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