Warm Hearts Happy Family

I am in a funk.  The deep funk that makes it almost impossible to smile.  Maybe I am being a little dramatic but I feel blah just the same.

I honestly believe that the entire tone of the families dynamic rests with the inner happiness of the primary parent; or both parents as the case may be.  In my family mom is where it’s at.  Dad–by his very nature–is goofy, happy go-lucky, and full of energy.  He has this unique gift of ignoring all of his life stresses and can find his happy place at the snap of a finger.  Me not so much.  I have to actually be happy to find my happy place.  And it is also me that sets our family tone.  I need to crawl out of this bad mood because there is only so much pretending I can do.

What is causing my normally bright optimistic self to have a low burning irritation that is ready to ignite into full blown rage at the most unsuspecting person?  A few things…

1.  I am so tired.  Now that Diva Baby is nursing much less frequently in the middle of the night I decide to start staying up past 11pm.  Party animal I know. 

2.  I am a chronic procrastinator.  I have recognized how much stress this adds to my life and yet I can not seem to get my shit together.  I leave tasks and assignments to pile up until I have so much in front of me I feel like I might explode with anxiety and exasperation mixed with rage and desperation.  Dramatic again?  My bad.

3.  I need to get laid.  Those Hawaiian flowers are divine. 

I am sure I will bounce back to my positive life loving self tomorrow.  Going home to some good snuggle time with the kids, followed by good wine, followed by a much needed good nights sleep.

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