Warm Hearts Happy Family

I am on day 12 of the 30 Day Shred and I am kicking my own ASS for not taking a before picture.  I also want to punch myself in the face for not taking any measurements because this is the type of plan in which these two activities are essential. 

You see as things droop stand I am building muscle for the first time in years.  A decade really.  And being almost 100% body fat, the process of burning that and building muscle is actually making the scale go up.  UP.  And seeing those brutal numbers rise makes me want to crawl into bed and never come out. 

So by not having a before picture, or any measurements, the number on the scale is making me feel like a failure.

So I am going to have the husband do these things for me tonight (hopefully he will have managed this insane task called getting the kids bathed and in bed before 10pm when I am due home) so I can get a more acurate representation of my efforts. 

And…

I am going to post the before and after pictures when I am done.  And if you know me, you know how hard this will be for me.  Because when it comes right down to it I am just vein, and absolutely mortified at the way I look; with they way I have let myself go. 

But…

This is necessary for a number of reasons.  The first being I need to own my body, and stop pretending like the world hasn’t noticed I got fat.  I need to embrace myself at this weight and stop letting the extra layer(s) validate me as a person.

 The second reason is to help motivate others.  When I googled 30 Day Shred before and after pictures, most of the results I found were ladies that were already thin to begin with.  Not so much help for me, or others that may have 50 or more pounds to lose. 

And besides the self therapy and the motivation for others, I want to have documentation of my journey.  While this will never be a fitness blog, having a place to track my progress and results will be huge for keeping my fat ass off the couch eye on the prize. 

And the prize is huge, the rewards many.  To name a small few… 

• Self Confidence
• Pride
• Healthy Sex Life
• Active lifestyle
• Success
• Cute Clothes
• Enjoying the Summer (for the first time in years)
• Accomplishment 

So here begins my documented journey and I pray that I stick with my plans…because if I attempt and fail at losing weight one more time, my husband better just order a crane to lift my obese-ness and break me out of the bedroom through the roof of the house.

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I need to put into writing, put on record what an amazing human being you are.  Of course you are a strong woman, a remarkable mother, and a doting grandmother.  But you are more than that.  You are an extraordinary person—above and beyond all of the ways women are supposed to rock at life. 

I have always admired your complete acceptance of people–the way you automatically see the good in everybody–and your nurturing soul ready to give yourself to those in need.  But what blows me away the most is your positivity.  

 

 

Most women love to gossip, secretly love to see people fail (though they would never admit it) and have a hard time accepting the success of others because of jealousy.  But you never exhibit that–never.  I have never heard you sit around and talk negativly about somebody just to make yourself feel better.  It is just not in your heart to put others down–what a rare and admirable quality to have.  This is one of the unique and beautiful things that make me so proud that you are my mother. 

 

You are good. 

 

You are honest. 

 

You are compassionate. 

 

You are accepting.

 

You are forgiving.

 

You are love.

 

My wish for you is to see yourself through the eyes of those that see you best.  Im afraid at times you let stress, pains from the past, and failure define your worth instead of your successes.  Everybody makes choices they regret and everybody fails at one time in their life or another.  Failure makes us stronger.  Wrong choices make us wiser.  And stress can suck it.  If you happen upon the key to stress management, you can pass that little nugget right down to me if you don’t mind.

 

But at the end of the day your successes in life are countless.  You  are a daughter that brings your parents such joy and such pride.  You are a wife that is nothing short of honorable.  You are a mother that taught 3 beautiful girls to be compassionate members of society.  You embedded in me a nurturing soul that my own kids are soaking in and thriving on. 

 

You are beautiful…in the way your hazel eyes sparkle green when you let joy override stress, your warm smile that radiates acceptance and warmth, and the intensity in your emotions.  

 

I love you, and am so proud to call you mom. 

 

 

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Welcome to the June Carnival of Breastfeeding–exploring the topic of nursing in public.  Check out other participants linked at the bottom of the post!

Unless you are one of the rare few–the bold moms that I so admire–the question of how to balance breastfeeding with summertime activities is bound to enter your mind.  Over at Mamapedia, I saw a similar concern posted by a reader. 

Concerns like pools and leakage, family bbq’s, trips to the park, and going for that morning jog can have many modest moms camped up in their home for the whole season.  This is not only completely unnecessary but wasteful!  There is no reason to sit this summer out, because the public and breastfeeding are compatible.  I promise.

Let’s start with the family bbq’s.  If you are new to nursing in public this is absolutely perfect.  You are breaking your nursing in public seal surrounded by friends and family.  Once you are a nursing pro you will look back and feel silly at how awkward you felt feeding your baby outdoors. 

If the thought of nursing around people still makes you a little uneasy start smaller.  Go in your backyard in the morning, breath in that fresh air, nurse your little one, and listen to the birds sing.  I am telling you, that is peace and love baby.

Another popular summertime spot is the public pool.  This setting can be downright terrifying, especially for the boob, I mean the noob.  There is just not a lot of modesty options when nursing in a bathing suite so start with the above –backyards and bbq’s if you have to.  One key piece of advice I have–especially at the pool–is people are really not paying attention to you. 

I always felt like when I was about to nurse a huge spotlight beamed directly down on me and everybody held their breath and stared, absolutely appalled at what I was about to do.  But in reality the insecurity was all mine, nobody around me noticed or cared.  So when you are at the pool nurse with pride and if somebody happens to notice all the better.  You are helping change our culture for the better (and don’t worry about the leakage, you won’t be swimming around with a streak of milk in your wake I swear).     

Nursing in the summertime is beautiful, it is convenient, and it is healthy.  You don’t have to carry around formula, bottles,  and sterile water.  Food is always ready, always the perfect temperature, and always perfectly mixed.  And all this with zero clean up required.  So enjoy your summer of breastfeeding, I know I will!

Blisstree.com: Nursing in Public: To Cover or Not to Cover

Lucy and Ethel Have a Baby:  (Boobs) Out and Proud

PhD in Parenting:  Would you, could you nurse in public?

Dirty Diaper Laundry:  Breastfeeding in Public- Talents- I haz it

Kim Through the Looking Glass:  Here?  At the Restaurant?

Grudge Mom:  Nursing in a room full of people you know

Mum Unplugged:  Aww, is he sleeping?

Massachusetts Friends of Midwives:  Nursing in Public: Chinatown, the Subway, the Vatican, and More

Mother Mary’s Soapbox:  June Carnival:  Breastfeeding in Public

Tiny Grass:  Nursing in Public as an Immigrant

A Mother’s Boutique:  Breastfeeding in Public

Chronicles of a Nursing Mom:  Why Worry About NIP?

Blacktating:  Thank You for Nursing in Public

Musings on Mamahood:  NIP, no tuck

Motherwear’s Breastfeeding Blog:  Get kicked off a buss for nursing in public?

babyREADY:  A wee NIP in the park

Long Life:  Planes, trains, and automobiles–we’ve breastfed in them all

Breastfeeding Moms Unite:  Nursing in Public: A Fresh Perspective on Nurse-In’s

Pump Ease:  Breastfeeding Hats? YES! Nursing Covers? Uh… Not So Much

Breastfeeding Mums Blog:   Nursing in Public - What’s a Breastfeeding Mother to Do!!

Hobo Mama:  Easy, discreet way to breastfeed a toddler in public

Stork Stories…Birth and Breastfeeding:  Little Old Men… & Nursing in Public

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A late afternoon nap + a blog idea racing through my mind + feeling randy (ew, I have an Uncle Randy) amorous (huh?) horn (not even going to go there, my family reads this for goodness sake) romantic while my husband snores beside me = INSOMNIA.

So here is my random thought (and not the brilliant post still racing in my head).

Sundresses.

Yep, going to invest in sundresses this summer.  There is no other way around it.  No matter what combination of shorts, jeans, capris, my elastic waistband maternity shorts from last year, or skirts my double stomach screams at people to look at it.  Screams.  And it is scary.

I have this unfortunate pounch left over from 2 enormous pregnancies and a sad under-the-belly-button stomach that would make a teenage boy gag a little and look away.  (Yet another badge of honor fathers deserve yet it goes unnoticed–loving your wife post baby.  And that is love.  Or denial but both work for me.)  And speaking of belly buttons, mine is sadly trapped between the two said stomachs–unrecognizable–and weeping for what it once was. 

A sundress however promises not to cut me in two.  Sure I might be mistaken for pregnant but I’ll take it, and just tell the dumb schmuck I am due in December–another boy!  I know, were blessed.

See also How you know it is really time to lose weight and Part 2.  And somebody, anybody, kick my ass in gear!  30 Day Shred here I come!

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I was very late to the Internet craze.  I never IM’ed when it was THE THING TO DO on a Friday night.  I never spent hours looking up my favorite celebrities, and I never used the glow of the computer screen to eat up my life–days at a time.

But….

In the last few years I have gotten very into social sites like Facebook.  I quickly learned how much the internet can enhance my life, friendships, and career opportunities.  Now I am completely immersed in the social media and networking scene and use sites like Twitter daily .  

I am having a mild love affair with my computer.

What I am also discovering is how inundated and repulsive the porn industry is.  They shove themselves into your personal space at every opportunity, and force you to realize and ackowledge the seedy underbelly of the Internet. 

Generally speaking, I don’t have a problem with porn.  What adults want to do with their time, bodies, and sexual exploration is their right and their business.  What I have a problem with is the industry exploiting human weakness and throwing erotic images under the noses of unsuspecting people, who did not ask for the distraction, nor seek it out.

Almost daily I get a new twitter follower that is so obviously peddling porn (and sometimes not-so-obvious).  And before I block them–sometimes, sometimes–I am tempted to click on the link.  I am grossly curious of what I will see.  And sometimes I do click, roll my eyes, and block the person from my existence.  

But what will our children do?

Porn addiction is a real condition and can be very damaging.  When started at puberty, before a child is mature and self assured enough to process the images, porn can stunt their social growth.  They will get the satisfaction from their computer screen and never learn the skills needed to sustain a healthy relationship.  They can become reclusive and depressed and disconnected from the real world.  Sexual reality becomes so far off  base it can seem impossible to plug into the real world.

And how about our men?  Our significant others and husbands? 

To start, I am not giving men a free pass or get out of jail free card.  But men are visual.  Men are carnal and men love sex.  They love the female body.  Naked.  And preferably doing things they may be too embarrassed to ask their wives to do.  And porn is there, shoving itself down the throats of the Internet goer in almost every place men visit.  Don’t believe me?  Just check out a fantasy football/baseball/sport-of-any-kind forum.  Ads are there, and posters are there to lure men into that “place”.  For many men this becomes a place to escape, and to forget about the stress in their lives.  For the whole 30 seconds. Â

I don’t blame the men for getting sucked in, I really don’t.  Because on the rarest of occasion it sucks me in too.  And with a full time career, 2 kids, breastfeeding, writing, and the general running of my house–sex and porn are the LAST things I am interested in.  But pull me in it can.  So men…I love you, I love the ass backwards way your minds work, and I understand.  I really do.

But what can this do to your marriage? 

 I have seen many marriages fall victim to porn.  And it is never the porn itself.  It is the lying, the lack of respect, the sexless marriages, and the disgust that porn industry brings into many lives.  And many lives it does ruin.  And I have a slightly better understanding of it now; now that I see how often porn comes to the Internet user in hopes to suck away your money, marriage, dreams, and self dignity.

OK, that was just slightly dramatic and I am laughing at myself because I know many couples that are healthy and thriving and have a healthy relationship with porn.  But I fear more do not. 

So what is my point?   I fear what our world will look like when my children are old enough to use the Internet unsupervised.  I fear what the Internet porn industry is doing for the morality of our generation, and the generation of our children.  And I fear that many couples–too ashamed to admit it–have unsatisfied sex lives because of the unrealistic expectations porn brings into their lives.

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