Is my marriage in certain peril, or is it just a pot of coffee?
Posted in Uncategorized on 08/14/2009 12:40 pm by Rachael
I base the state of my marriage on if my husband makes me a pot of coffee in the morning. It may sound silly but really, there is no better way to judge. He isn’t a coffee drinker so by having a cup ready and waiting for me when I get out of bed is a gesture of appreciation, a gesture of love.Â
All marriages go through the peaks and valleys of emotion, both love and disdain. I once heard someone say the beauty of being married is that you are bound to one another until you fall back into love. I see a lot of truth in that. Â
I think my husband and I are perfect together. He is my best friend and the person above everybody else that I want to spend my time with. I get just as excited to spend time alone with him now, as I did when we first met. And I know he feels the same. We laugh together and bring out the best in one another.
Other times I want to punch him in the face–hard.Â
And I know he must feel the same because–on paper–we are pretty incompatible. I know he wishes I was a a better cook, a better housekeeper, and a lover of sports. I wish I could crack open a beer and enjoy a football game with him, I really do. But I would rather poke my eyes out with a knitting needle…slowly.
So when my husband makes no effort to wake me up with the aroma of Folgers finest blend…I worry. I worry that he has dipped in a valley. I worry that I must not be meeting his needs, that his “emotional tank” must be empty. And thoughts of doubt creep into my head.
When the coffee pot goes empty it is a sign, a small hint to spend time on us. To spend time connecting and reminding each other that we are friends before anything else.  Â
Because although valleys are normal, the line into danger is a very small one to cross. And on the other side may be a current that has its own destination regardless of your will.  A current that will pull you under and pull you so far apart that you can’t make the swim back to each other; no matter how hard you try.Â
So I listen to the signs because at the end of the day, the year, our life…my husband is who I want to be next to. Forever.
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August 14th, 2009 at 4:39 pm
I like it. Funny and sweet.
August 15th, 2009 at 10:58 am
oh my gosh, it is the EXACT same way with us. If aaron doesn’t get my coffee going in the morning, my mind immediately starts to backtrack to figure out what went wrong that he didn’t fix my coffee. I didn’t really realize this fact until reading this post, but that’s exactly how it is with us too! And I know he isn’t doing it purposely, because if I ask him why he didn’t make my coffee today, he says, “Oh, I didn’t??” with genuine confusion.
Great post….so true!
August 15th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
It all about the subtle things I swear. Lot of little signs add up to all of a sudden you are strangers living in the same house. I NEVER want to end up in that place. It is so sad to me to watch marriages go through that–which is why I think the whole world seems to be facinated with the Jon and Kate business.
August 17th, 2009 at 9:00 am
It is such the small things in life….