Warm Hearts Happy Family

Today was my biscuit’s first official day of preschool.  I had prepped him for a week about how I would be dropping him off and how much fun he was surely going to have.  Thankfully, drop off was a happy exciting event. 

Here he is sweet as hell and ready to learn:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The whole way home Sissy was confused that brother was not with us. The way she was so concerned that B was absent from the car was heart warming; and also matched what I was feeling perfectly. The car was oddly quiet and I was a little sad.

But then we got home, and sissy realized she had free reign over ALL of they toys. Her concern was long forgotten!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We had some serious one on one time which felt fantastic:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then we waited…and took the waiting outside because it was such a beautiful day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sissy was pumped when I said “time to go!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And finally followed by more waiting in the parking lot, because mom was too damn excited and we left way too early.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When we went in to pick brother up, he came jumping out of the room telling me how much fun he had. “I had so much lot of fun mom!”

I love my life, and I thank God for my children. They are such pure sweetness and everything that gives my life meaning.

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My phone conversation with my husband yesterday:

Tim:  Even though our kids may not always listen, the one thing they do have is great manners. 

Me:  Yes they do…(cut off as usual by him)

Tim:  They say please and thank-you so well and they mean it.  They are such sweet kids. 

Me:  I know, they are the sweetest…(cut off.  again.)

Tim:  I don’t know where they get it from either.  Its like they were just born to have manners, its so weird.

Me:  *I actually moved the phone away from my ear and just stared at it.  Silent and blinking.  To make sure I processed what I had just heard correctly*

Tim:  Hello?

Me:  They just magically learned their manners?

Tim:  Well you know what I mean.

Me:  Actually Timmy, I worked really hard to teach our kids to be polite.  And I have been pretty succesful despite who their outrageously annoying fun-loving father is.

Tim:  Huh.  OK, gotta go.

Click.

PS Babe:  When I remind you to say please and thank-you–and heaven help us–excuse-me when the appropriate time calls, it isn’t to be a beastly nag.  It is because kids do as their parents do.  So with a little nagging nudging by me you have actually taught our babies their manners too! 

Crazy concept I know.

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One of the most inspirational books I have read is The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch (co-authored with Jeffery Zaslow).  Randy lived his life with passion and courage and most importantly with dreams.  He realized almost all of his childhood dreams against all the odds most people face. 

One of the things that resonated loudly with me was one of his mantras:  “The brick walls are there for a reason.  They’re not there to keep us out.  The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something”.  These words embedded themselves into my core and refused to be ignored.

I want my children to grow up surrounded by optimism, surrounded by success and passion.  I lost my dreams somewhere between swinging on the playground and figuring out how to make all of the bill payments on time.  But I am claiming them back–my life is mine to determine and I owe it to my childhood-self to do the things she knew I would be best at.  The things that would make me happy.

Kids are funny that way.  They know their talents right away–they know what they want to be right away.  But too often kids face stresses and obstacles that erode the once glossy dream into a distant memory.  I will do everything in my power not to let this happen to my children.  I am hear to nurture and foster every dream they have–who am I to say if their dreams are realistic or weather or not they can achieve them.  They will face that enough in their lives and my hope is my voice will be loud enough, influencing enough, to resonate in their heads when they themselves are feeling self-doubt. 

Kids are sponges and in a lot of cases emulate the life they have at home.  So my gift to them–to prove they can make whatever life they want–is to believe in myself.  To chase after my dreams and to accomplish my definition of success.

***Important note*** I think it is prudent to mention one of the things I have been blessed with is common sense. So you will never see me screaming into a camera at the judges of American Idol if my child is clearly and devastatingly devoid of any artistic talent.  Nurturing does not equal lying to your children but that is just me. 

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That’s right.  I love my babies being babies.  But before I jump into all my reasons I love being a mom to itty bitties, I find it absolutly essential to bullet point some of the things I will NOT miss. 

1.  Pooping with an audience.  Why my children find the bathroom to be the very nucleus of entertainment when I need to use it is way beyond me.  I have learned to power poop.  Three minutes start to finish–including a hand wash–I am in and out before my kids have even missed me. 

2.  Sleep deprivation.  I will love when I can go to bed when I want, sleep till noon if I want, and sleep in what I want (nude as the case may certainly be).  And also to not wake up to a baby nursing away wondering how she got there; and how long she has been at it.  One day my boobs will be mine once again.     

3.  Drugs and alcohol.  And by drugs I mean the likes of Nyquil; the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best sleep you ever got with a cold medicine kind of drugs.  Having a cold sucks ass with a nursling–you just have to suffer through the old fashion way.  And by alcohol I mean drinking a bottle of wine and giggling till you fall asleep kind of alcohol.  Guess that one was pretty self explanatory.  

What my heart will ache for when these days are gone:

• My kisses being packed with mystical magical healing powers.  Right now mama’s kisses fix all scraps and bumps and it melts my heart every time
• My kids loving to fall asleep in my arms.  I don’t know what I am going to do when they don’t want to cuddle in bed and drift into a peaceful sleep with me anymore.  This is one of my favorite parts of my day and memories that I will cherish forever
• The sound of their high pitched innocent belly laughs
• Breastfeeding.  While at times I can not wait to be done I will forever miss these moments when they are in my distant past.
• The pure joy I see in my son’s eyes when he has learned something new
• A little voice asking in every circumstance–”Can I help, I help mommy?”
• Being awakened by bright jubilant children smiling and bouncing with excitement for the new day
• Being able to use the word “maybe” instead of yes or no–and it working like a charm
• The witness of pure acceptance of people and diversity
• Knowing that mommy’s arms are the safest, warmest, most sought after place in their little world.

Motherhood rocks–kicks serious ass–this is a reminder to enjoy your babies.  Breath them in and eat them up because these moments in life are unreasonably short.  Remember to stop and smell the roses–or better yet the tops of your kids heads.  They will be ungrateful teenagers before you know it!  Yikes!

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My Dear Son,

Last night you said:  “Mommy, why is your name Mommy?” 

If you only knew that you gave me everything I ever wanted.  How out of all of my dreams, out of all of the make-believe kids I had created in my imagination, I can not believe God gave me such a beautiful boy.  Beautiful on the outside with a beautiful three year old soul to match. 

I know your little sister is tough competition for my attention.  But just know  you are who made me mom, you are my first born and my son.  Nothing will ever replace that.  Remember these words as I am gushing over her hair and clothes and all the girly things we are sure to do. 

All my life motherhood was my goal, was my calling.  Motherhood was the only thing that I knew–without question–I would be fantastic at.   What I was not expecting was just how much you would fill up my heart, fill up my existance, and fill up my world with such bright happiness that I literally close my eyes and try to breath you in every chance I get. 

My favorite time of day is bed time, when I tuck you in and hold you close.  We talk about our day and talk about your exciting adventures waiting for you when you wake up.  I kiss the back of your head, smell your hair, and we talk until you are safely in your sleeping peace.  I cherish these moments because I know they are fleeting and one day you will no longer crave the tranquility of your mothers embrace. 

So son, thank you .  Thank you for making me a mother and making all of my childhood dreams come true. 

Love,

Mom.

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