Warm Hearts Happy Family

If you landed on my site trying to research if the 30 Day Shred works let me start off by saying it does.  Stop contemplating and just go out and buy the DVD.  If you push yourself your body will change and you will feel on top of the world. 

At least this is the experience I have had.  I have been shredding since June 19 (holy crap, almost to my 30 days!) and my stamina went from non-existent to pretty impressive and even though I am still fat, my self confidence is soaring.  Because I am stronger and healthier and I can see my body slimming down.

I’m shredding.

And I have a slight woman crush on Jillian Michaels.  She is just bad ass in every which way–kind of ballsy and mean yet motivational at the same time.  You can’t help but to push yourself because Michaels makes you believe you CAN push yourself, that EVERYBODY is capable of working out and working out hard. 

I needed to hear that.  I needed somebody to tell me that just because I am overweight doesn’t mean I can’t work out hard–she leaves zero room for giving yourself excuses.

My overall experience has been beyond positive.  My original goal was to be down a pant size in the 30 days and I am almost there.  I am going to have to really turn it up this week if I am going to make that happen.  

 When I started this adventure I was about to bust my fat pants up to the next level–up to the pants that have the W for Woman after the size.  Like once you hit the point that your silhouette resembles that of an overweight upright brown bear (or polar as is my pasty case) you have made it–you are a woman baby.  

Not the look that suites me best.  So Shred I will continue to do–push myself I will do until I am down another full size.  After that who knows!  I have always categorized people (judge me if you want) and one of my biggest categories were people that work out (hot) and people that don’t (lazy). 

I have jumped (and jumping jacked, plank rowed, high kneeded and crunched) into the workout category and that feels incredible.

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A late afternoon nap + a blog idea racing through my mind + feeling randy (ew, I have an Uncle Randy) amorous (huh?) horn (not even going to go there, my family reads this for goodness sake) romantic while my husband snores beside me = INSOMNIA.

So here is my random thought (and not the brilliant post still racing in my head).

Sundresses.

Yep, going to invest in sundresses this summer.  There is no other way around it.  No matter what combination of shorts, jeans, capris, my elastic waistband maternity shorts from last year, or skirts my double stomach screams at people to look at it.  Screams.  And it is scary.

I have this unfortunate pounch left over from 2 enormous pregnancies and a sad under-the-belly-button stomach that would make a teenage boy gag a little and look away.  (Yet another badge of honor fathers deserve yet it goes unnoticed–loving your wife post baby.  And that is love.  Or denial but both work for me.)  And speaking of belly buttons, mine is sadly trapped between the two said stomachs–unrecognizable–and weeping for what it once was. 

A sundress however promises not to cut me in two.  Sure I might be mistaken for pregnant but I’ll take it, and just tell the dumb schmuck I am due in December–another boy!  I know, were blessed.

See also How you know it is really time to lose weight and Part 2.  And somebody, anybody, kick my ass in gear!  30 Day Shred here I come!

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I was very late to the Internet craze.  I never IM’ed when it was THE THING TO DO on a Friday night.  I never spent hours looking up my favorite celebrities, and I never used the glow of the computer screen to eat up my life–days at a time.

But….

In the last few years I have gotten very into social sites like Facebook.  I quickly learned how much the internet can enhance my life, friendships, and career opportunities.  Now I am completely immersed in the social media and networking scene and use sites like Twitter daily .  

I am having a mild love affair with my computer.

What I am also discovering is how inundated and repulsive the porn industry is.  They shove themselves into your personal space at every opportunity, and force you to realize and ackowledge the seedy underbelly of the Internet. 

Generally speaking, I don’t have a problem with porn.  What adults want to do with their time, bodies, and sexual exploration is their right and their business.  What I have a problem with is the industry exploiting human weakness and throwing erotic images under the noses of unsuspecting people, who did not ask for the distraction, nor seek it out.

Almost daily I get a new twitter follower that is so obviously peddling porn (and sometimes not-so-obvious).  And before I block them–sometimes, sometimes–I am tempted to click on the link.  I am grossly curious of what I will see.  And sometimes I do click, roll my eyes, and block the person from my existence.  

But what will our children do?

Porn addiction is a real condition and can be very damaging.  When started at puberty, before a child is mature and self assured enough to process the images, porn can stunt their social growth.  They will get the satisfaction from their computer screen and never learn the skills needed to sustain a healthy relationship.  They can become reclusive and depressed and disconnected from the real world.  Sexual reality becomes so far off  base it can seem impossible to plug into the real world.

And how about our men?  Our significant others and husbands? 

To start, I am not giving men a free pass or get out of jail free card.  But men are visual.  Men are carnal and men love sex.  They love the female body.  Naked.  And preferably doing things they may be too embarrassed to ask their wives to do.  And porn is there, shoving itself down the throats of the Internet goer in almost every place men visit.  Don’t believe me?  Just check out a fantasy football/baseball/sport-of-any-kind forum.  Ads are there, and posters are there to lure men into that “place”.  For many men this becomes a place to escape, and to forget about the stress in their lives.  For the whole 30 seconds. Â

I don’t blame the men for getting sucked in, I really don’t.  Because on the rarest of occasion it sucks me in too.  And with a full time career, 2 kids, breastfeeding, writing, and the general running of my house–sex and porn are the LAST things I am interested in.  But pull me in it can.  So men…I love you, I love the ass backwards way your minds work, and I understand.  I really do.

But what can this do to your marriage? 

 I have seen many marriages fall victim to porn.  And it is never the porn itself.  It is the lying, the lack of respect, the sexless marriages, and the disgust that porn industry brings into many lives.  And many lives it does ruin.  And I have a slightly better understanding of it now; now that I see how often porn comes to the Internet user in hopes to suck away your money, marriage, dreams, and self dignity.

OK, that was just slightly dramatic and I am laughing at myself because I know many couples that are healthy and thriving and have a healthy relationship with porn.  But I fear more do not. 

So what is my point?   I fear what our world will look like when my children are old enough to use the Internet unsupervised.  I fear what the Internet porn industry is doing for the morality of our generation, and the generation of our children.  And I fear that many couples–too ashamed to admit it–have unsatisfied sex lives because of the unrealistic expectations porn brings into their lives.

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When you wake up in the middle of the night to your nursling–half asleep–is trying to latch onto your side roll instead of your breast.

*Sigh*

Thanks daughter, the new me…or should I say old me is coming back soon I swear.  Keep reminding me to get back to my super fly self.

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So I almost always wear a nursing tank under my clothes, even at home.  I just feel so uncomfortable pulling up my shirt and having that lovely post baby belly out for the world to see.  Even if the world is just my little family.  But today I didn’t wear one.  I wore my new lacy black bra and didn’t want to ruin the feel by throwing a nursing tank over top of it–would have totally defeated the purpose right?  That’s what I thought too. 

Anyway, I get home from work and diva-licious wanted to nurse right away.  So I sit down, pull up my shirt, and she stops mid lunge.

“Uh-Oh.  Ooooooh.  Nooooo.  Uh-oh mama”

Yep, the look on her face was horror mixed with confusion.  All while pointing her chubby finger at my stomach.

Nice.

If my 15 month old has that reaction, I can’t help but wonder what my husband thinks.

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