Warm Hearts Happy Family

Becoming a mother has made me whole in a way that I never expected; has filled me up with so much more love and joy than I ever expected. In fact motherhood has been jam-packed with surprises and has been a huge part of my personal growth. 

For example, I never knew I would be a mother nursing a toddler and absolutely loving it.  Not that I thought I wouldn’t necessarily, I just never even thought about nursing an older child.  And then when breastfeeding did enter my reality I assumed I would nurse for 6 months (if I could make it a whole 6 months!). 

I have learned so much over the past year about breast milk, nursing, and the unique bond that forms through breastfeeding.  Nursing a toddler is an entirely different ballgame all together.  They can verbalize how much they need mama’s closeness and tell you how much they love their <insert your name for nursing here>.   We call our nursing session num num’s.  Lacks in originality, I know.

Some statistics from kellymom:

 In the second year (12-23 months), 448 mL of breastmilk provides:¦lt;br />  29% of energy requirements
 43% of protein requirements
 36% of calcium requirements
 75% of vitamin A requirements
 76% of folate requirements
 94% of vitamin B12 requirements
 60% of vitamin C requirements

My daughter does have a healthy appetite and eats a variety of different nutritious foods.  What better vitamin supplement than mom’s milk, produced and designed just for her!  The fat and energy content significantly increases in breast milk produced beyond the first year of life and continues to provide key nutrients to the growing toddler.

There are the benefits we have long heard about such as fewer illnesses and allergies and some immune factors increase in the second year of lactation (Goldman 1983, Goldman & Goldblum 1983, Institute of Medicine 1991).  And this from the World Health Organization:  A modest increase in breastfeeding rates could prevent up to 10% of all deaths of children under five: Breastfeeding plays an essential and sometimes underestimated role in the treatment and prevention of childhood illness.” 

Just as important however is the gentle transition from baby to independence that nursing your toddler can provide.  According to Elizabeth N. Baldwin, Esq. in “Extended Breastfeeding and the Law”:  “Meeting a child’s dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable.”  In short, meet your individual baby’s dependency needs and so will follow healthy independence.

So let’s ban together, rethink our own definition of the mother and child nursing relationship, and change our culture for the better!

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Detroit Motherhood Examiner: Why todays parents are saying no to circumcision

I have one thing to ask before you continue on with this article. Open your mind, read the information without defenses. I have had my own personal journey with circumcision, my son is circumcised, and I will admit I thought the idea of not circumcising was just…weird. So I get the resistance to the culture shift, I really do.

We are the only country that routinely circumcises our infants at birth for non religious reasons. This is not the norm in other countries. In fact when speaking with a European friend of mine who was expecting a boy, she said she would not only not circumcise her son, but that she would never stand for it. When you live in a culture that does not routinely circumcise, the question becomes why would you.

So, do Europeans and their intact penises have mystery penis problems? Are they dirty? Do they have a higher rate of sexually transmitted diseases? The answer is no. Really? Are these not the main problems that we are trying to avoid?

First let’s examine some of what is lost after a circumcision is performed in the United States (In the US, most hospital circumcisions are done to the Bris Periah standard of removing every ounce of foreskin and, in a large percentage of cases, some shaft skin).

Foreskin: The foreskin comprises around 50% of the movable skin system of the penis. In fact the average foreskin if spread out, would be about 15 square inches. The average adult foreskin has three to four feet of blood vessels and amazingly between 10,000 and 20,000 specialized erotogenic nerve endings of several types. All of this is removed.

Ridged Band: The ridged band is comprised of soft ridges near where the inner and outer foreskin meet. This is the primary erogenous zone in an intact male penis.

Meissner’s Corpuscles: Meissner’s Corpuscles are thousands of coiled fine touch receptors. This is arguably the most important sensory component of the foreskin.

Other losses include:

Gliding Action
Frenulum
Dartos Fascia
Immunological System
Lymphatic Vessels
Estrogen Receptors
Apocrine Glands
Sebaceous Glands
Langerhans Cells
Natural Glans Coloration
Length and Circumference
Dorsal Nerves

So while the adult penis “works” when circumcised, it is arguable that it doesn’t come close to the experience it is designed for. I was always under the impression just a little extra “flap” of skin was removed — such an old myth.

One of the first defenses to circumcision I always here is that a cut penis is cleaner. In reality the opposite is true in infancy. The intact infant penis does not retract so care is so much easier. You just wipe and go! And when the boy is older and the foreskin separates from the glans I am positive they can learn to pull back the foreskin and rinse. We teach our girls proper hygiene and our boys are just as capable. In fact world wide female circumcision is a much more practiced procedure. And the main reason cultures site is that a circumcised vagina is cleaner. Things that make you go hmmm…

Let’s tackle sexually transmitted diseases. This is a big one and I will to be brief and clear. The study done in Africa regarding circumcision and HIV has caused much undeserved buzz. The study says circumcision decreased the transmission of HIV. While this may be true, the study was never finished. Time for the circumcised group to heal was not factored into the equation, and they stopped mid study to circumcise the control group.

Just pause to really think about whether routine infant circumcision decreases STD’s in the united states. We have the highest rates of circumcision and we do not have lower rates of sexually transmitted diseases. Also, why don’t countries that do not routinely circumcise, and are on the same level socially as America, have much higher HIV rates than us? The data is out there, and it just does not support this theory.

This just barely scratches the surface but my hope is it will give you pause — and prompt some investigation into the issue on your own. Here is a great article on what can happen when a circumcision goes wrong. Is it worth the risk?

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Detroit Motherhood Examiner: Negative body image issues start early for girls

One of the gifts I want to give my daughter is a healthy, realistic body image and a love for herself that is rooted deep and radiates from the inside out. This is going to be an extremely large task considering our children are bombarded with unrealistic media images everywhere they look. This along with mothers who obsess over their own weight, and fathers who display a clear preference for thinner women, can leave a life long imprint on what it means to be a woman of value in our culture.WebMD asked the experts and really dug inside the issue and gave some great advice on ways to help girls develop a healthy attitude about their bodies.Dove’s campaign for real beauty is a wonderful resource and strives to show real beauty of all ages, shapes, and color.
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So let’s break it down:

On average, a young woman receives 180 minutes of media influence and only 10 minutes of parental interaction per day according to Renee Hobbs, EdD, associate professor of communications at Temple University. This just sets our teens up for failure and can cause low self esteem and eating disorders. The best way to combat this is to acknowledge and encourage girls to think objectively about the images and what goes into creating that facade of perfection. Remind them of the camera tricks and air brushing that goes on behind the scenes.

Girls pay acute attention to what mothers say about their own bodies, and that of celebrities. I know I will think twice about making catty comments about so-and-so celebrity who packed on a few pounds from now on. We as mothers are our daughter’s most influential role model. So let’s do not only us, but them a favor and just love ourselves. Let’s embrace our own inner beauty and strength.

Next in line of influence is dear dad. According to Carleton Kendrick EdM, LCSW, social worker and co-author of Take Out Your Nose Ring, Honey, We’re Going to Grandma’s, a daughter learns how to relate to men by the way she relates to her father. So if daddy tells his daughter she may need to drop and peel 10, this could be life changing and extremely negative. So dads, I would leave the lets get healthy and start a work out routine talk to mom. Equally important says Kendrick is how fathers perceive all women, not just their daughters. Kendrick urges all fathers: “Pay attention to how you respond to the media images of sexy, thin women because your daughter is listening.”

And finally, parents point out healthy children playing at the park or walking in the mall. Compliment your daughter’s achievements in school and her positive contributions to her family and community. Teach your daughter that she is worthy and beautiful just for being her. The best way for me to instill this into my own daughter, is to practice what I preach and love myself no matter what weight I am. This is something that I have struggled with my whole life, equating my worth as a person with the number on the scale. I will do whatever I can to spare my daughter this counter productive mentality.

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